Tuesday, December 11, 2012

nervoustime actually: death in the family

my grandmother died today and people were screaming and crying and the babies among us were the happiest but other people brought soup, which is nice, cause it is still wolseley. tips for surviving funeral planning are as follows (i.e. what i think ryan kesler would suggest):

a) everyone is allowed to be sad in their own way.

b) light a menorah, your oma loved jewish culture

c) make an amend - oma's last thing she wanted to do was contact an ex from 60 years previous

d) family more relational than biological. meaning we need that ex's new partner at the funeral as much as we need my father who was not there.

e) even if your father was never there, find a way to love him. this is a difficult one. people all have struggles and all you can really track are your own.

f) when people say "they died with their family" you may not believe it but when it happens it can be great.

g) love your family. love them with all you have. tell them you love them. tell them again.

h) love yourself. love yourself like your oma loved you. like everyone in your family loves you.

i) it is all going to be okay and pretty soon it won't be nervoustime anymore.

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